You need more balance…you’ve said this, you’ve felt this, and even actively worked for more of it. But it goes through your fingers like sand.
I’ve searched as well (in vain).
Two analogies may offer understanding.
The tightrope walker. The only way she can maintain her position on the rope is by actively leaning one way or another…staying in the middle is a sure way to fall. Leaning into work, leaning into family, school, relationships, and not seeking a middle ground is the way across the rope.
Seasons, not balance. (This one has helped me the most) Like seasons, life will require more of you during certain times and it’ll feel out of balance. Like trees producing leaves in the spring, you wonder if you shouldn’t perhaps be doing other things in “balance”. But no, this is your time to grow leaves (or build a relationship or career or family) and it’s not for those other activities. Seasons, not balance.
Don’t find the middle…lean into the edges.
Find your season.
Balance is a lie.